A few years ago, I was scrolling through old family photos looking for a picture of my mom.

I found photos of birthday parties, vacations, Christmas mornings, and countless everyday moments. There were photos of me, my brother, my sisters, my grandparents, and my friends.  But finding photos of my mom was surprisingly difficult.  She was there for all of it, of course. She packed the lunches, planned the parties, drove us where we needed to go, and made sure everyone had what they needed. She was present for every memory.  She just wasn’t in many of the photos.

And if you’re a mom reading this, there’s a good chance you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Somewhere along the way, many of us become the family photographer. We capture the first day of school, the birthday candles, the beach vacations, the soccer games, and the everyday moments that make up a childhood.  We become the keepers of the memories.  The problem is that we often forget to include ourselves in them.

Sometimes it’s because we don’t like how we look, maybe after we’ve lost 10 pounds.  And sometimes we’re convinced we’ll get in the next photo.  And sometimes we’re just too busy making sure everyone else is having a good time.  Whatever the reason, years can go by without us appearing in the story we’re working so hard to preserve.

As a photographer, I see this all the time.

Moms will tell me they need updated family photos because they realized they don’t have any recent pictures with their children. Not because they don’t love taking photos, but because they’re always the one behind the camera.  The thing is, your children don’t see what you see; they don’t notice the extra weight you’re worried about, they don’t care if your hair wasn’t cooperating that day, and they don’t see imperfections.  They see Mom.

The person who packed their lunches, kissed their scraped knees, sat through dance recitals, cheered from the sidelines, and made ordinary days feel safe.

One day, those photographs won’t be about how you looked.  They’ll be about the fact that you were there.  That’s why I always encourage families to hand the phone to someone else once in a while. Use the self-timer. Ask a stranger at the beach. Hop into the frame instead of staying behind it.

Not because every photo needs to be perfect.  Because your children deserve photographs of the person who helped shape their childhood.

And if you’re looking for one simple challenge this summer, here it is:  Get in the photo.

The one where you’re laughing. The one where you’re holding hands. The one where you’re making memories together.  Years from now, those may be the photographs your children treasure most.  And if you’re still waiting for the perfect time, consider this your reminder: You are already worthy of being remembered.

xo, Tiff